love

November 23, 2014

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exit stage right:

November 22, 2014

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Hope, to me.

November 21, 2014

Hope, to me, is a search light over open water looking for me: a tiny speck in the sea. The sky is calm; the night is clear. And you can’t decipher the difference between the ocean and the night sky. All you have is a soft horizon. The warm Gulf Stream water is running into the colder arctic air above and what you get is a mirage effect. The beacon of hope is a strong, fierce blue light from its side of things, but all I can pick up is a flickering, faint light. There is nothing faulty with my perception, nor anything wrong with the hope as it’s being sent out. It’s just somewhere in the transmission hope is coming across to me as wavering. Hope is shimmering in the mirage. And I am alone shivering.

casual slant of the eye lashes drooping

November 21, 2014

casual slant of the eyes lashes drooping
these shades slowly close on the day

a lazy smile escapes
before sleep sets in

fingers twirl through hair
reassuring
a book clutched tightly
slowly released

little growing heart
beats steadily

the child falls asleep
tucked in
to dream the night away
as all is right in the world

shoes worn:

November 21, 2014

shoes worn
time torn
at the heels

as you ran
from every place
you ever made
yourself call home

soft suede
laced jade
semiprecious buckled days

of doubt bounced
off the toe
of your well worn
heel soul

strung out arcade

November 21, 2014

beta waves
rioting in my head
beeping
wooshing
I can hear my brain working
alarming
sounds
like a strung out arcade
craving
the next fix

the tension builds upon the page

November 21, 2014

the tension builds upon the page
in every stark word
typed letter by letter

you feel it within yourself
the bile rising

you don’t want to read anymore
but you can’t help but carry on
devourer

you’re on a roller coaster
it’s left the station
and you’re not going to get off
until it’s over with

might as well have a thrill
it’s only fiction anyways

then it dawns on you
It’s probably happened before

somewhere
someday
to someone

suddenly you don’t feel so well

you stop yourself
and pause in contemplation

this author is a master of composition
to be able to inscribe
a few symbols down on paper
and cause you feel so much

the floor is moving

November 21, 2014

the floor is moving
as I breathe
because I am not really here
I am off far away
grieving
it’s merely my body you see
before you
I’m so far away

can’t you see I’m bleeding
that’s my heart your stepping on
it fell off my sleeve
fish out of water
gasping

shove your philosophy
mourning is not yours to control

fuck your sentiments
your sym-pathetic attempts
ring falsely on cracked bells
nothing you can say means more
than
just being here now

shut up
and hold my hand
as I break down
don’t try and fix me
there’s is nothing wrong
with me
just with your expectations

pity is a party that vaporizes the host

I have no patience in the best of times
get off your lecture
get off on your compassion
if that’s what you want to do
fine
just leave me out of it

I lost an ally to an unseen war
and I’m supposed to be ashamed
of the battle he lost

fuck you world
I’m not
he wasn’t a coward
just because of how he went out

he fought on hard
and couldn’t take it anymore

go tell a cancer patient
to just snap out of it

wtf is wrong with the world
victim blaming
the mentally ill

He is
always will be
my hero

I will miss him
I will love him
I will be sad if I want to be
I will not stretch a smile
for the plastic
flamingoes
gawking on my lawn

imachinations

November 21, 2014

come here night skyline
you’re my lover
you are mine
til dawn

then the sun
can have her fun
with her beloved
glass-eyed mirrors

but tonite
I want to touch the floor of the abyss
in between bright lights

I want to move so high
so fast up the pillars
that the stars are blurred out
and we dwell forever
under
the skyglow

let me move with the speed of your light
where time is still
where I can expand
beyond my skin
swelling in your arms and legs

let’s dim out the stars
with the city glow

let me be
part of your
imachinations

let me dream for awhile
along the ribbons
of your empty offices
along your amber orifices

let me feel like an institution
and stand among you
as we fight
with the clouds
for the minds
of the impressi’nable
ants below

stars come out

November 21, 2014

stars come out
in the threadbare towel
when I put it over my head
and inhale a bowl of steam
steam pores
off my face
I can see the reflection
of the universe
in the bottom
of the metal mixing bowl


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